Immersion

Today I had a morning shift and then was supposed to study at the library but instead of staying there I printed some stuff off, annoyed the hell out of everyone that was studying (with Nicole of course).  The two of us are crazy together, I love it! First of all, what I want to talk about really has nothing to do with my competition training so I guess I will toss in some BS about that first. Uh, let's see, according to TDP I took in 3218mg of sodium today?  I honestly don't believe that to be true.  Why?  b/c I know how my body feels after eating that much and I def do not feel like that at all.  End macros were 1515/29/129/194.  What else can I say?  I was about 90% accurate with tracking.  Seems to be a major theme.  Oh yeah, also, I did have everything planned bc I was going to study after work, make a salad and bring it with me, but then I changed my mind.  Oh well.

So what I wanted to write about is this Immersion I had to do for my Diversity and Oppression class.  The assignment was to identify yourself and the roles you experience in everyday life and then place a disability on yourself.  I chose to have a spinal cord injury that left me wheelchair bound and only able to make movements above my waist.  Writing the final draft today made me seriously realize how insane it would be for this to happen.  I would have no idea how to cope, I cried at the gym when I had a stress fracture and couldn't use anything but the bike, I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to never be able to walk again.  I know my paper was beautifully written and I do not want to copy and paste it here but basically I just wanted to point out how lucky I am.  I may bitch, moan and complain about sodium intake or how I wasn't 100% on with my tracking and measuring, but seriously? there are people out there who can't even workout, will never be able to do a competition, or ever walk again.  I truly appreciate the life that I have, the things I am able to do and the people around me.  

I am still taking things day by day, my goal is still to lose that pound this week and be at 135, I will be happy.  This isn't going to be an easy journey and I just keep telling myself that a month is already gone, that I can't and won't go back to my binging lifestyle.  Since I have started I have NOT binged and to me that is one of the top 3 reasons I wanted to do this.  What does that mean?  It means I need to remind myself of where I was and where I am going.  I KNOW I can do this and I know I want to walk across that stage saying I gave it my all.  These are the things I think about when I want to late night eat, I remind myself that those aren't the actions that are going to make me ready.  I went food shopping tonight and I am SUPER EXCITED!  I always get so happy when I know I have good food!  Eggs, yellow, red and green peppers, strawberries, light whipped cream, rice cakes, broccoli, yogurt, hummus, carrots! yum! yum! So many good foods,  I think for me, just knowing I have all of this healthy food makes it easier for me.  I have been trying to plan my meals but that hasn't been going to well.  What I am trying to concentrate on mostly is reaching my macros and eating every 3-4 hours.  I went a little longer once today but I am not going to fret about it.  Every day is a new day with new challenges and if my trainer thinks I need to step it up and be more strict about it then I am sure the time will come when he has to tell me that.  Right now, other than last week I have been losing so this is how I see it.  If I lose that pound this week, I am on the right path and good with tracking.  If I do not lose that pound and gain another I, myself will make it more strict!  Deal ?  Deal!  PeAce out!