I am about to admit something some people will not like hearing but I feel as if this blog has been pure honesty this whole ride through and I can't hide things now. I wanted this journal to be as real as possible, to allow my readers to experience what I am experiencing and express how difficult this journey really is. I ate bad all weekend. I am not going to sit here and explain everything, I didn't track anything so I have no prof of anything nor do I even want to do bc I woke up with such a stomach ache this morning that working out is the only thing I want to do right now. The reason I didn't want to admit it is because I know people will always give you the "you should know better" "your not going to be able to compete if you keep this shit up" and all other comments that could be said but you know what? For me, it's all about learning and I can't avoid making mistake, I am human and I WILL fuck up a bunch of times and granted over eating is something I still haven't quite grasped on why I allow myself to do it but this wicked stomach ache is definitely a reminder on how gross I am going to feel until I kick this shit and start eating clean.
I also must say that my worries over my new man not understanding what I am trying to do have passed and it has turned out to be something quite the opposite. I do believe I am rubbing off on him and last night he told me that he is going to un-freeze his gym membership and start lifting again because it wasn't until he met me that he really started to think about it more! I am soooo excited! AND he wants me to go with him so we are designating Sundays as our workout day together! How friggin excited am I??! SOOOO excited!!!!!!!
Love your honesty!! It takes a strong person to change bad habits but it takes an even stronger person to mess up but not let it stop them from giving up on their goals!! That is something that I am not proud of. I have given p my goals and stopped doing what I love most bc of messing up and getting down on myself. It is ironic how my mind would tell myself to give up so easily in fear of failure, even though that was exactly what I was doing, FAILING!!
ReplyDeleteHi Vanessa~ I wasn't even going to post anything about this, I wasn't even going to tell my trainer but what good would that have done me? I know I am not perfect and I have come a LONG way with how I react towards myself and my actions..u gotta stay positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
ReplyDelete:) you are doing great! Takes a lot of courage to be honest about all of this stuff.
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