Yes friends, yes! Now THIS is Fitspo for sure! This weekend was a total success, no binges, healthy choices and good decision making. Again, my new macros are 1350/34/90/169 and Saturday I ended at 1365/31/97/178, Sunday 1400/38/96/168 and today I will end at 1351/22/97/185. I am slightly aggricated that I can't crunch on these rice cakes I have out in front of me. I started cooking some mushrooms to eat with my eggs and they were just not right. They were cooking in their own liquid and they smelled weird so I opted to eat some strawberries with light whipped instead with the Walden Farms chocolate syrup, I mean come on! Such a good comp treat! I also want to look up some dessert recipes on Damyhealth after I get my lectures done and make something for myself.
Yesterday I was swimming at a new friends house, we were supposed to go to the beach but it started raining so my friend called her friend and we went to her house in hopes it would clear up, be sunny and get a tan! Well it totally did! It was so relaxing and definitely something I needed. I was totally prepared with my cooler packed with food and water but then they decided to go to the market next door to make sandwiches. I wasn't feeling EVERYTHING I had packed so I switched it up and feel like I did an awesome job making swaps. I was craving something salty and crunch so I got some cheddar cheese flavored popcorn and shared it. I was happy that it satisfied my craving! I swapped out my carrots for some fresh green beans, I ate my chicken, but instead of my protein powder I bought some freshly sliced low sodium deli turkey! Delicious! Didn't eat any of the chips they bought and didn't make a sandwich. I was really hungry, but I knew I just needed to enjoy life and not let food rule my brain like it usually does.
Today my friend is having a little BBQ and I planned everything out for the day,I already know it's going to be tough because my meals are small but I need to push through it and tomorrow I can do a little better with macro division. It seems like the fat is the hardest thing to get it, usually I am way under or right on. Protein is never an issue and neither are carbs. I am depositing some money for my competition suit today, super excited about that! I know once I get it I will get even more pumped! This last binge has really been an eye opener for me. It had made me cringe everytime I think of eating something that's not healthy for me. I remember passing a Dairy Queen and thinking "yumm" and then immediately being like YUCK thinking of how bad my stomach gets tore up.
Like my starting goal, I did this to stop the binging, I am learning it is hard and I think there are a lot of people out there who have this disorder (yes, Binge Eating Disorder is real) and many people think it's just a private issue and end up battling it on their own. I know I couldn't afford seeing a counselor, I even bought my own self help book, which helped to a certain extent. I also believe it happens to 2 types of people (1) the classic textbook over weight people but I think more often it'd (2) those who are exercisers, who want to eat healthy, who yo-yo diet, who are either 100% on or 100% off their diets and label food as good and bad. I have this one composition by Lyle McDonald called flexible dieting and it describes these types of people to the tee. While I was reading it, I identified with it completely. Anyways, I think if more of us were honest with ourselves and to our support systems whether it be friends through a fitness site or our significant others, we could talk our way through this. It isn't an easy cycle to break once it starts just like any other disorder or addiction, it's real and it needs to be addressed that way. Thuis is why I have such an interest in working with individuals with eating disorders/exercise issues etc when I graduate, I am just unsure of how to do it!
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