Carb Anxiety

Is it bad that sometimes I just want to go to bed so that I can wake up and eat carbs?  For real, I want some carbs so bad right now, bread, would be my number one choice I think.  I was craving candy today too, trainer said he wouldn't recommend it, well jeepers just say NO.  I really think this part of my path has been the hardest.  Like I said in my last post, if I was on my own I definitely would have given in to the carb monster and then felt bad and then over exercised tomorrow.  Well that will NOT happen!  Let's try some positive self talk.  Talia, you CAN do this!  You have been doing so well!  Do NOT go into the computer room and open the cupboard because you will only make it that much worse knowing you can't have anything.  I am doing this to change habits and make myself stronger INSIDE just as much as out.  If I know I could just easily have binged already then I should feel quite proud of myself for not giving in and suppressing those thoughts.  Isn't this what you wanted, Talia? Yes, it is.  

Phew, that was tough.  I think it has passed.  I was talking to a friend who is also competing and just discussing progress and seeing results and venting on here got me through! I just keep reminding  myself how BOMB I am going to look!  This is only the first month and I am learning a lot, definitely learning that I can push myself further than I think.  I did legs today and had an AWESOME workout because I pushed myself.  So for real I need to stop pussyfootin around and get some reading done but today ended at 1501/32/133/183.  I know I am not perfect and I still have feelings of guilt for not being 100% but I also know that I am TRYING and I AM pushing myself to not fall into the same habits and screw things up.  As long as I am good the next 2 days and weigh in less than last week I will be happy!  Going to make these last 2 days count, especially with sodium!  I was at 2500 today! That ish needs to be WAY lower!!