Memorial Day

This is such the reason that I do not like to plan anything.  First of all...

Mistake (6)  Do not do triceps and biceps one day and then do chest the next!  Take a rest day!!  I did chest today after killing my bi's and tri's Sunday and holy CRAP was it tough!  Awesome workout though! Awesome!! 

My goal today was to eat as "planned" because I knew I was having dinner with my parents after work so I brought stuff to work.  Then I got to work and forgot that I was training someone for their solo shift and was BORED, ALL.DAY.LONG.  The server is great and I am glad she did so well but my boredom always leads to me being hungry and so I ate things when I wasn't "supposed" to.

  I absolutely hate feeling like that though, just because I set out to eat my carrots and grape tomatoes with some whey at 4 but instead munched on some celery with spinach dip should I feel so wrong about it? Another thing I was supposed to do today was make sure I measure/weigh everything which I did not.  I do not feel like I have failed but I do feel guilty about it like tomorrow I will wake up and weigh more than I did today, which by the way today I was 137.  I believe it could have been 1 of 2 things.  Either it was from all the water I drank before bed to get my count in or it was from not accurately counting calories/sodium, etc.  So today since I still didn't accurately track everything but I drank most of my water during the day I will hop on the scale tomorrow to see where I am at.  I definitely need to be more on top of things but this is about where I fall off track when I am dieting/trying to get smaller on my own.  I am on day, what? 18, I usually get to 3 weeks then I star craving.  I feel a little aggitated writing this right now.  Someone at work actually said my face looks thinner.  That IS usually the first thing that people notice when I start losing weight so although deep down I know I am going in the right direction I get scared, my feelings change, and everything else.

Anyways day ended at 1552/31/131/189 which is pretty much near perfect and I can not imagine that I was way off tracking.  If anything my protein might be a little but lower but that's about it. 

Carb Monster-DAY 18

I was down 4 pounds this week! YAY me! So I am at 136!  I am hoping to be under 135 by the end of this week but I know I am going to have to work for it.  Yest\erday I wasn't home and although I made some extremely healthy choices while surrounded by my junk food eating friend I still wasn't 100% on my macros.  I went over a little bit in carbs and my weight this morning was slightly higher which was annoying.  Right now, it's almost 9am, I just ate a small breakfast and I am STARVING for CARBS!  I seriously just want to open up some cereal or something, I am just really hungry today.  I know though that I need to get better at measuring and weighing things because I really am one of those people that will be WAY off if I didn't do it.  I wish I could be the other way and be so accurate.  I planned my first 3 eating times today, nothing major because I plan on having dinner with my family.  I am pretty sure we are having some sort of chicken so I want to make sure I am not starving by the time I eat.  I will have an apple and a shake after my work-out, another shake 2 hours later and then in another 2 hours a shake and some veggies.  That will take me to about 4pm, should be done with work around 430, not sure what time we are eating but by then I will have 960/15/88/123 for macros, plenty of room for more calories and protein.

I know I am only on day 18 and I know I need some improvements but I am also proud of the fact that I have not had a binge, I have not over-ate, the worst I have done is been a little off with calories because of estimating.  I am still on a losing streak and I am determined to see the number on the scale be at least 134!  This means; drinking a lot of water, making sure I get my workouts in but work HARD, and eating good, near perfect macros every time, near perfect calorie counting by measuring/weighing.  To me that is the hardest thing but I know it effects everything!

I really hope work is busy this afternoon but I am not going to hold my breath on that one.  It's gorgeous outside and it's a holiday!  Time to finish up this coffee and hit the weights!!!!! Hope everyone has a great holiday!  I am feeling great, happy, slept good and can't wait to make today better than yesterday!

Shatter?

I needed, yes needed, to re-do my nails tonight.  Obviously I am getting no school work done (again) and so this is what I must do.  I paint the white on first, wait for it to dry then do the black O.P.I shatter over it.  Looks flippin sweet! Then I fuck up my pinky nail because I always try to do things long before they are dry and so somehow the shit flies outta my hand and goes all over the place! GREAT...  Little did I know there was a spot on my desk that when I went to wipe off it created a perfect -NOT -supposed -to- be- there-little-light-brown-circle-on-my-dark-brown desk!  Good grief! For real??  Breathe. Close your eyes and think Talia-there is nothing you can do not, put your laptop over it and no one will EVER know....

My day was tiring, I got up super early to workout and I have a feeling my hamstrings are going to be screaming at me tomorrow, I didn't even have time to stretch because I had to work.  I always manage to make JUST enough time to workout, shower, get ready for work and GO when I work the 1030 shift!  My macros ended at around 1450/21/131/174.  I am on day 15!  can you believe it?  My averages were 1505/34/128/182 last week they were 1528/34/128/186 so I know I am on the right track and considering my recent break-up with peanut butter I could probably place bets on my fat being closer to what it should be by the end of week three.  I am totally geared up for my weigh in tomorrow, always nervous but I know I put forth a good effort and although I have room to improve, I know I am going in the right direction.  

A few things I need to work on are (1) spreading out my macros more evenly through the day.  I have noticed I eat a lot in the beginning parts of the day like breakfast and then by the end of the day I am starving.  This makes things really frustrating because I have to sit down and track BEFORE I eat because if I don't I always end up eating the wrong things.  The other thing I need to work on is getting closer to the macros I need, especially protein.  Drinking water has been better as long as I drink a lot in the earlier part of the day.  I do loose track though so sometimes I end up slammin some before bed, and then I wake up regretting it.

I am making a deal with my trainer to have a little extra fun next Saturday with my sister at the Greek Festival!  I am sooo excited!  As long as I am 100% on and still down in weight I get to eat some BAKLAVA!!! DELICIOUS!!!!!

SLEEP

I am in some serious need of some good sleep tonight.  Last night I slept like utter crap.  Apparently, after 27 years of not having allergies my body thinks it's now time to start.  I was up all night, not only to go to the bathroom but coughing because of my itchy throat, swallowing my spit and wiping my eyes because they were so watery.  This morning I woke up and was crazy hungry and the damn peanut butter got me AGAIN.  I have only 1 serving but still, at almost 200 calories at half the fat I am allowed for the day, I hardly think it's even worth it anymore.  I was at work and annoyed because of an experience before work, so my workout was great!  I did back and I studied a little bit too.  Class was tonight and I wanted to DIE sitting there for so long!  5:30-9:30 is seriously way too long.  Do you really think we are listening after 2 hours passes let alone FOUR?!  




All I wanted to do today was eat at work.  We were really slow, nothing was going on, there was nothing to do and today was just not a good day overall.  I went from a seriously stellar mood on Wednesday to being tired and irritable the next.  I sure hope Friday is better!  No going out for me, I need to stay home and get some stuff done for school so that Sunday I don't have to spend all day there.  
Ended the day at 1525/37/112/194 and I can't write anymore because I need to go to bed before I flip a lid

LOVIN LIFE!

I am really lovin life today!  I feel so, I don't know, ALIVE.  I haven't felt like this in a LONG time!  It feels really good!  That's all.  Really, I have no complaints today AT ALL.  Macros were 1512/30/131/194 and water, just drank a few more so 16! 

WATER

I have lost track of how much water I drank today but it had to have been at least a gallon.  I KNOW I have bitched about this probably 6 times already but SERIOUSLY, drinking this much water sucks!  Does it ever get easier?  Does my body ever want to stop having to pee every 20 minutes?  Will my body ever be GRATEFUL for drinking so much?  My macros ended up being 1548/36/131/179 but I can't say it's 100% I should have never bought that jar of peanut butter.  For real, who buys a jar that big and measures serving sizes?  I should be, but I didn't today, I only guessed with one.  Why?  Well this morning I put some on my toast and then later today I had some too but not like huge spoonfuls, just a little.  Not only that but I guesstimated with other things I ate today too. I guess considering I have been counting calories and learning portion sizes for years I pretty much can tell what things are in terms of servings but for this I know I need to be a little more careful.  Hopefully my trainer skips out on reading this post.  Crap, now I feel like I have to tell him..wow..really?

Mistake (5) - never think you are going to eat just one serving of peanut butter once you start.

Learned. Over it.  Moving on.  Tomorrow I get to see a friend I haven't seen literally since the fourth of July last year!  Ok, maybe that's a touch of over-exaggeration but I honestly can't remember last time I saw her.  Life is weird.  People come and go, have different schedules, get boyfriends, blah blah blah.  HA HA.  Off to bed I go, but before I do I started my second week of exercises and today was chest.  I made sure I pumped out as heavy of weights as I could because I didn't want to be mad at Applebee's when the restaurant became flooded with Canadians.  It never happened but at least I knew I put in an excellent workout!  Good Night ya'll!  Tomorrow and moving forward I need to make sure I am being more accurate with measuring!

Temptations

Last night was an absolute BLAST!  I danced so much I was not walking like a normal human in my over the knees I wore.  Yeah , yeah, stick to sneakers, right? Hell no, these boots always make the outfit look SLAMMIN'  A few people we went out with were wasted before we even went and so when we got there and said we weren't drinking (6 times), that no we didn't want a shot (about another 3 times) and no, really, we haven't had even 1 drink I didn't expect anything less.  Regardless, I still think it's hilarious that being a non-drinker is so abnormal.  I ended up being one of the DD's, driving someones car I just met that night, in my socks because as soon as we got back to the cars I took them off.  I had to chuckle when the owner of the vehicle kept telling me to be careful and even more so when there was a cop.  No worries, I'm sober, remember?

Once we got back to her apartment, around 4am, was probably the hardest part of the day nutrition wise, minus being at work super bored and wanting to eat a whole handful of croutons.  Why was it so hard? All the talk about food and the consumption of left over pizza, that was already there when I got there before we left.  It was tough, especially since I had eaten all of my calories allowed for the day to not eat something.  Ok, I had like 6 blueberries, but I think all the dancing negated them so whatever.

Saturday 1540/31/138/189, water 13 glasses

Sunday was actually really good minus the 4 hours of sleep I got.  I woke up, had a banana that I brought and a protein shake with water.  My friend had to pick up her mother in LeRoy for her jewelry party and so I had a McDonald's coffee black, with another scoop of protein powder.  When we got back I had my carrots I packed and then the party started with the cheese,chips and crackers.  AHHHH My triggers, chips are one of them and crackers well they are basically useless circles of salt and carbs.  I stuck to the cheese, and was very proud that I did.  This whole competition deal has my mind in a completely different place than making up my own goals.  Having such a solid goal to shoot for is absolutely what I needed to get out of the viscous binge, over exercise cycle. I am glad I am changing my habits, kicking bad ones, and although I do get cravings for shitty foods I just remember that after I eat them I feel just like that, shitty. 

Sunday 1552/39/128/178, water 16 glasses

Little over on my fat and under on my protein, but for the temptations that were around me today and by not being at home all day I feel like I did pretty well.  

My other challenge lately has been the 16 glasses of water consumption per day.  Right now I am at about 15 but I started late and I am definitely going to be annoyed getting up in the middle of the night for sure because I KNOW it will happen.  Yesterday I know I didn't drink enough and I was thinking about emailing my trainer and asking how important it is to consume the 16 but then I recalled that even before we started he said as long as I am (1) drinking water (2) following the macro plan and  (3) following the workout plan that I will be fine.  So....I am going to assume drinking that gallon of water everyday is pretty important!