I am officially in LOVE with competing in competitions! Yesterday was the best experience EVER! Let me take you into my day!
I woke up around 8am to start to get ready. Ok wait...REWIND...let's go back to Thursday night around 7:30pm when my who I thought was such a fabulous boyfriennd and that I was in LOVE with broke up with me. I was so hurt. I cried and cried. The next day for my last cardio session I cried all over the cardio equipment. His reasons were I was too busy, he didn't see me enough, he didn't know how to handle that and that he couldn't do this right now, that he jumped into another relationship too fast. I think the latter is not true because he is someone who JUMPED into a lot of things too fast without thourough thoughts but I was dumb and followed along. When I got my tan after my workout I explained what happened because my eyes were SUPER puffy and they were nice girls and I neeeded to vent. They asked if I wanted to wait and I said HELL NO! I sucked it up, got strong and made sure I didn't cry and ruin a $60 tan :) Anyways, he did teach me some valuable things about myself and I know that I will take that and use it to my advantage.
Ok back to me :) I slept at my bestie Nicole's house because she is an amazing friend and I love her! She curled my hair and did my make-up and I really felt like bikini barbie!!!! I was a little mad I didn't leave earlier because then I wasn't able to get a coffee which maybe was a blessing in disguise if you get me :) I was so nervous, all of the girls were so gorgeous, and I could tell super lean. Along the way you all know I have taken many steps back by not following the plan, trying to find the short cuts and loop holes (all things my ex happily brought to my attention). We had out meeting, got out numbers and were told basically how the show would run. This was around 1030-1100 and prejudging wasn't until 1pm! So I took my stuff into the basement where they had it set up so we could get ready. Def NOT a big enough area for all the girls that were there but I stayed down there pretty much the whole time, sizing up my competition and getting to know some of the girls. I was lucky to have already met 2 girls that worked out at the same gym as I did only the Women's club. They were super nice and supportive. I started to look around once we all had our numbers on to see who was near mine and in my height class. I knew immediately that I was not lean enough but again, didn't let it bother me because I felt proud to be there, proud to have come this far, not given up and not chicken shit out! I was nervous at first to take off my track suit for fear that I would get dirty looks like "wow she is NOT ready" but I was so surprised at how nice all of the girls were. Of course there were some that had to think they were better than everyone else but I tried to not let that affect me especially since most of them weren't in my class anyways.
I was also surprised to see that not all of these girls were perfect either, we all have our own flaws and it's not about being perfect (well for some it is) but it truly is about how confident you are in yourself and what you have accomplished. Another great thing about this show was that it wasn't a pro qualifier and I think the level of the show makes it much more comfortable for first time girls like me. If it was a bigger show I do not know if I would have had such a great expereince because the girls would have been pretty much near perfect.
Fast forward to 1pm, we are all lined up in order, ready to hit the stage for pre-judging. I was shaking like a fucking leaf, probably even more shaking than when I gave my ex my phone number (bad judgement on that one). We got out there and did our 1/4 turns, lights all on us, crowd cheering, my lips were shaking so much I think I got points taken off hahaha. After that I was a little uneasy because who knows, all this stuff is going through my head about what I coulda shoulda woulda done. I went out to lunch with my trainer, had a slice of pizza with ranch dressing and it was so delicious and a salad. We talked about the days after the comp of eating haha hello, DUH and doing another show.
We got back with a shit load of time, but eventually I just went back down and started getting ready again. The night show was our individual walks and poses and I had A BLAST with this part! Definitely my favorite part of the show. I walked out there and owned it with the music playing. I could hear people cheering and screaming for me and it was such an AMAZING feeling!! I loved every second I was up there showing off all of my hard work!!! After that we ALL went on stage which went as smooth as it could with over 40 girls! It felt amazing up there, I can't even express it in words because it was just such an individual experience.
After that we went out again by class and got awards. I placed 6th out of 7 girls and was just so happy that I wasn't last! It gave me that little boost that said, you were better than at least one girl and you can be just as good as the top 3 if you put in what needs to be put in!
I have been through a lot, been tested many times throughout the past 5 months and I know I am going to stuff my face the next few days, I am currently writing this at 1030am while eating cheese fix munchie mix ahhahaha but my stomach already doesn't like me and I know I hate the way I look when I am bloated and I do not want to start this off on the wrong foot so I will get all of this out of my system and then get right back into it and listen to my trainer and do what he tells me 100% the whole time and see what I can do for my next show in 5 months! I can't wait to actually compare COMPETITION photos! I love this and I am so glad I found something I really love doing!!!
Kudos to rocking it despite the shitty part of your ex! That shows you are so much stronger than you know! I am also, starting out on this competition journey and appreciate your honesty in sharing your story and feelings with us. Keep going and we'll all be cheering eachother on; whether in person or cyberspace! =)
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