Blame vs. Responsibility

Today in class we got a hand out entitled "Autobiography in Five Short Chapters"  I am not sure where this came from but my Professor, whom is extremely knowledgeable with tons of experience let us keep them.  It goes exactly like this...

1) I walk down the street.

      There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

      I fall in.

      I am lost...Iam hopeless.

            It isn't my fault.

      It takes forever to find a way out

2) I walk down the same street

      There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

      I pretend I don't see it.

      I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

            But it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.

      There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

      I see it is there.

      I still fall in...it's a habit.

            My eyes are open.

            I know where I am.

     It is my responsibility.

     I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.

      There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

      I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street

As I read this I immediately thought of myself.  I know it sounds selfish but I feel as if I am going through a very difficult time trying to piece myself together for this competition that I wanted to do.  I realize that I can no longer and no longer want to place blame on others or circumstances.  I need to take full responsibility for the decisions I make and the consequences that come about them.  All of it about the binging.  In the beginning, just like this little story, I don't even really see the hole there, then when I do I fall in anyways but now I feel like I have finally come to chapter 3 where I learn it is MY responsibility and no one else's.  I am the one walking across that stage in a tiny bikini with 5 inch heels, struttin my stuff, not my trainer, not my mom, not my boyfriend, ME.  I made this goal for myself it's my goal and I take responsibility for achieving it in any way that I can!!!